My weakness is...
…that I care too much.
So honestly, I should’ve just brought my guitar to Eurhythmics today. It really wouldn’t have been that big of a deal.
But of course, in my mind, I make it out to be. I carried it around on Tuesday for the same purpose but we never got to my composition, so I didn’t play, and decided that I felt too self-conscious to be carrying it around and to play it in class, and played it on piano.
Which was stupid. I had practiced with the guitar and would’ve known what I was doing. But I was too worried about getting looks from people and being different, and STANDING OUT, when in reality, no one probably would’ve thought anything of it at all. In fact, as people are very judgmental, I think half of their judgmentalness (is that a word? lol) is in my mind.
And I’m a hypocrite. I always wish that I stood out more, so when I take advantage of the opportunity to, I chicken out.
And why am I caring about people’s opinions? They really don’t matter, and people are full of them, and quite honestly we’d all be better off if we were all more open-minded and less opinionated. People’s opinions are 100% a waste of my time, and I’ve spent my whole life asking people’s opinions on this and that, and don’t really have the best sense of who I really am because I’m always asking people how they think I act, or how I should act in such and such situation, etc, and basing my opinion of myself on others’ opinions, rather than basing it on my own.
I should’ve just brought the guitar.
